I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
