woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
