i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
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