it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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