His pubic hair was longer than his dick
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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