We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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