What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
