So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
