I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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