phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
