I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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