the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
