I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
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she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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