O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
