She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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