Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
