Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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