Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
