Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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