Well douche your snatch and let's go!
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
