I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
