We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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