I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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