It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
