Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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