i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
