I just saw a hot homeless man
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
