Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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