I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
