I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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