Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
