Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
you guys were way drunker than both of me
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
