hotel room ftw
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
