dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Damn victory sex feels great
Randomize
