wake up i wanna do it froggy style
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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