I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
its liver damage thursday
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