There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
