I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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