Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
