I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Randomize
