I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
