Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
