She's like a pop up book from hell.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
