if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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