I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
