then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
