HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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