We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
