Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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