wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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