Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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