Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Barsexuality is the new black.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
