Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
