TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize