My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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