woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
