I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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