The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize