ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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