yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize