he shaved USA in his pubs
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
