I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
