There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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