you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
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