singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
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just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
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Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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