there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Come see our sink grown plant.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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