R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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