cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Randomize
