She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
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I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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